What happened?

 

I have been a Christian since I was a young boy of eight. My life over the succeeding years has been very much centred around the church and living as a Christian in my community.

 

It was, therefore a shock to me when a situation arose in the church I had been part of for twenty odd years that, I can now only term as spiritual abuse. As a member of the Diaconate and pastoral support team I became concerned about the number of people leaving without any apparent contact from the church or pastoral support during that time. I therefore disagreed to a section of a report in relation to pastoral care being presented to the church from the Deacons that said the pastor was doing a good job. The pastor came to hear of this, demanded an apology and when it was not forthcoming, went to everyone in the church seeking support to have us excommunicated. He also arranged a church meeting for everyone to state publicly what they disliked about us and have our membership revoked.

 

What has been the most difficult aspect in all of this and led to some of the darkest and hardest of my life, has been the response of those who we had journeyed with in the church who we believed were friends. Only one person phoned us of the two hundred or so people we had loved and cared for over the years. No one came to visit. A nearby farmer we had known a comparatively short time and who would not call himself a Christian, was the only person who showed us real care and support. He regularly contacted us to see how we were.

 

All the Scriptures say about Christian love – 1 Cor 13 seemed to be no longer true to me – in practise Christians seemed worse than unbelievers. Was all I had believed from God's word, when put to the test, really untrue? Are friendships we make at church only if we are in agreement all the time or believe exactly the same things?

 

Ten years on my trust in God has undergone healing and is now strong. However, my trust in fellow Christians is damaged. I have made a number of attempts to bring some reconciliation but have had no response. The pastor concerned was subsequently asked to leave because of his confrontational manner but still no reconciliation with the church we once called ‘friends'.

 

John Leuthwaite