Praise

 

Harry Smart, from the collection Fool's Pardon 1995

 

Praise be to God, who pities wankers

and has mercy on miserable bastards.

Praise be to God, who pours his blessing

on reactionary warheads and racists.

 

For he knows what he is doing; the healthy

have no need of a doctor, the sinless

have no need of forgiveness.  But, you say,

they do not deserve it.  That is the point;

 

that is the point.  When you try to wade across the estuary at low tide, but misjudge the distance, the currents, the soft ground and are caught by the flood in deep schtuck,

 

then perhaps you will realise that God

is to be praised for delivering dickheads

from troubles they have made for themselves.

Praise be to God, who forgives sinners.

 

Let him who is without sin throw the first

headline.  Let him who is without sin

build the gallows, prepare the noose,

say farewell to the convict with a kiss