Open dialogue – a space for reader response
You may well ask what the words redefined and restored have to do with the issue of doubt. I can only say that this has been the result of a very real personal journey and struggle with doubt. The past year has been the hardest and most testing time in my faith journey – with fluctuating cycles of blinding doubt and glimpses of hope.
I have been a Christian most of my short life, and the concept of questioning, let alone doubting, fundamental aspects of my faith was almost completely foreign to me and I felt totally unprepared and alone. From the point of “am I really saved” my thoughts spiralled out of control and the more I sought the advice of trusted and respected people in my life the more confused I became. “Can I ask God for help? Am I insulting God to doubt? How do I own my faith (in my heart not just my head)? What do I do with my changing perceptions of God?
Yet in the midst of all this I did also sense God's gentle reassurance and love and wondered whether perhaps He remained un-phased by what I considered seemingly overpowering mountains. So I hold onto God (who looks somewhat different these days) and I believe He holds onto me. With hindsight I believe that this season of it my faith journey, although painful, was necessary and I'm glad to have been through