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A male perspective

S I N G L E    N E S S  - a male perspective

I was asked it I could write something about being single from a male perspective. “Ha” I thought “I bet they had to think really hard to come up with my name.”

As a teenager I was way to shy to ask a girl out and I was convinced that no girl could actually like me this side of a body transplant and major self-esteem overhaul. Unfortunately that body transplant will never happen, but some of the personality overhaul did occur in my early twenties and I came to know myself, I believed in myself, and liked myself, so now I could go out and get the girls right? Ha – I was still way too shy.

I did come close though, one of my work mates in varsity was, well, what can I say, perfect. I liked her and she liked me (yeah, I was surprised too), except she wasn't a Christian. I could've, should've asked her out anyway, but I was too intimidated by “Thou shalt not be unfairly yoked” and I was told “You are setting a good example to the teenagers in the church youth group, a relationship is not the be-all and end-all of life”. Great, so I didn't ask her out, but tried to evangelise her instead. Looking back I like to blame the church for my stupidity, and for my singleness. 


Certainly the church does more than it's fair share in raising the expectation that we should all be happily married off at an early stage; besides the fact that marriage is obviously the only place for sex (so, if you're randy my dear teenagers and young adults you'd better get married hadn't you?!), there's the stigma of not being fully accepted because you're not married.

Ten years ago I would have hoped to be married by now and I would worry about it and write terrible, angst ridden poems. Five years ago (coincidentally about the time I left church) I started to relax a bit more and just enjoy my life. Am I happy being single? Well no, not happy, I can give you “content” – it's enabled me to do things I mightn't have done otherwise - but I miss not having that special someone to hug and hold, travel with, laugh with, argue about the TV remote with…… It takes a special person to be single their whole life and I honestly don't want to be that special.

I'm in my early 30s (and did I mention tall, blond and handsome?) and I can still be distracted by females but getting married is not my sole objective in life anymore. Which isn't to say that if the perfect woman came along and introduced herself to me, I wouldn't leap at the chance, I mean, I'd be a fool not to right? Yeah right, if I wasn't so shy…..
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